Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and prepare a 9x9 inch baking pan by greasing it with butter and lining the bottom with parchment paper.

In a food processor, pulse the Earl Grey tea and dried lavender until finely ground. Sift the mixture after processing.

In a large bowl, whisk together all-purpose flour, processed tea and lavender, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Cream together softened butter and granulated sugar for about 2 minutes until pale and fluffy.

Add eggs one at a time, mixing well, then blend in the vanilla bean paste.

Gradually mix in buttermilk and the dry ingredients until just combined.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Bake for 38-44 minutes.

Allow the cake to cool in the pan for about 30 minutes before transferring it to a wire rack.

Heat the whole milk until warm, add more Earl Grey tea bags and lavender for steeping, then strain and let cool.

Combine cooled milk soak with sweetened condensed milk and a dash of vanilla.

Cream together butter and cream cheese, sift in powdered sugar, and mix until smooth, adding purple food coloring if desired.

Poke holes in cooled cake, pour the milk soak over it, then frost the cake with the lavender cream cheese frosting.